A Rowlocking Good Story

Words by Sal Balharrie

SOS HELP US FIND THE ROWLOCK LADY

 rowlock /ˈrɒlək,ˈrəʊlɒk/ noun British plural noun: rowlocks
a fitting on the gunwale of a boat which serves as a fulcrum for an oar and keeps it in place. 

I’ve been there too. At the airport shoving boat kit and damp stuff in pockets, last minute, in the baggage drop off cue, worried about the impending scales. A bright orange storm jib was interesting. A sleeping bag, impossible; a last minute shackle; the boat knife in your pocket; a new winch handle; once there was the gift of a bubble wrapped barometer. And you stand there racking your brain ‘Is it okay to take a pfd in your carry-on?’ only to face the music, f#$k it, we’ll just have to cope the cost of extra luggage.

And so it goes - MONDAY FEBRUARY 10 at 2pm - time and date are both important – standing in line to board DEATHSTAR J708 BOUND FOR MELBOURNE – once again important.

She was hassled, the lady behind me in the cue. I turned because I heard the clatter and there they were, spilling from a poorly wrapped parcel at her feet TWO BRONZE ROWLOCKS and she was shitty.

‘My bloody husband!’

We’ve all been there.

‘Shoved these at me and said put them in your carry-on.’

I felt her pain.

‘Turns out they won’t let me take ROWLOCKS on the plane. Turns out ROWLOCKS are a weapon.’

We both stared at the ROWLOCKS in her hands imagining how we could murder our husbands with a short bronze stick and a bit of bronzy horse shoe. Interesting. Turns out I’m rather imaginative.

‘So now I’ve got to buy bloody extra luggage.’

‘You know what,’ I said, ‘just shove them in here,’ and I pointed to the side pocket of my bag.

‘Are you flying to Melbourne?’

‘Yep. You can meet me at the carousel.’

Foolproof plan.

But fools we have proved to be, we didn’t swap numbers or names before she turned and was back in the fray and thick that is Hobart airport on a festival weekend.

AND SO GOOD READERS of SWS, A CHALLENGE – I know with some degree of certainty that someone out there will have heard or know of a similar version of this tale. SOMEONE OUT THERE KNOWS THE ROWLOCK LADY! This will be a mystery that together we can solve. EMAIL ME YOUR CLUES AND ANY INFORMATION PERTAINING TO THE ROWLOCK LADY so we can return these bronze beauties to their rightful home!